Jay Rifenbary

Jay Rifenbary's Blog

Please: Stop The Drama!

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Have you ever been called a drama queen/king? If not, congratulations! A person with this regal title is defined as, “Someone who turns something unimportant into a major deal. Someone who blows things way out of proportion when ever the chance is given.” Drama queens and kings fail to recognize that dramatizing every aspect of their daily life directly correlates with an internal resistance to hold themselves accountable for their behaviors, relationships and life choices. Their instinct is to blame others first and generate excuses to justify the drama. Subsequently the drama court enjoys playing the role of victim as a way to rationalize their emotional meltdowns.

To make mountains out of molehills with each personal challenge is indicative of a lack of self-respect, and a lack of self-assuredness in the ability to make a correct decision. Dramatic behavior is also more likely to occur when an individual’s sense of self is questioned. If you are unsure about what you stand for in regard to the principles that structure your character, the more insecure you are with who you are. As a result, the more likely you will react dramatically to distract you from having to be accountable for the insecurity. For example, if you have an excessive need for control and something occurs out of your control do you react rationally, or do you become the poster child for drama? If you become the poster child, the necessity to examine why you may need control is worth examining.

We all overreact at times, but it is overreacting repeatedly that is the basis for enrollment into the royal family of drama. Drama is a red flag that signals the need for an emotional check up. It indicates the necessity to take a step back and ask yourself, “Why am I losing emotional patience over the littlest of things?” Drama behavior is about you and the inappropriate behavior you display as a result. More importantly, the fallout from your drama negatively impacts others and in particular those closest to you. Frequent drama creates an atmosphere of walking on eggshells for those around you, as who wants to trigger and witness the next dramatic outburst. Drama left unchecked worsens and is a precursor to anger. Anger left unchecked worsens and is a precursor to verbal and physical abuse.

To introduce drama into your life is a choice and the courage to lessen the introduction of that drama stems from living a life that is reflective of the values you believe in. The more personally honest you are with how you live your life, the less internal conflict will exist. There is no need for drama when what you project outwardly is how you live inwardly. To be content is the antithesis of being dramatic. To be content is defined as being, “in a state of peaceful happiness: satisfied with a certain level of achievement, good fortune, etc., and not wishing for more:” Do you know anyone who is both content and a drama queen or king? Doubtful. Drama is in conflict with displaying maturity. It is very similar to a child throwing a temper tantrum over their frustration in not getting what they want. It is also in conflict with demonstrating a positive attitude, as there is nothing positive about a poor me whining mantra.

Five steps to eliminate drama include: *Look at the big picture in regard to what personal or professional outcomes you wish to achieve, don’t sweat the small stuff. *Evaluate if what you may dramatize over raises to the level of importance that warrants irrational emotional behavior. Simply, think before you react. *Be mindful of those around you for they will be on the receiving end of your drama meltdown. Ask yourself, Is it worth hurting my relationships? *Examine what are the root causes of your drama. Which personal insecurities are triggered that induce your drama? *Continue to align your core values with how you live your life as that alignment brings forth a greater level of contentment and internal peace. No need for drama when you are accepting of yourself



Monday, October 23, 2017

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